Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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