saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize