I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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