I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
