after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
