fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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