the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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