OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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