i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
