winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
