i'm lost and i look like a hooker
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
