I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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