Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
