Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
