Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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