Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
