i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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