How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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