I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
