So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
