what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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