I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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