This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize