An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
how drunk are you?
Several
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
