jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
