no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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