She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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