I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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