Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
