...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
