i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
