But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
