he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
