Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
