I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I had to cum in my sink.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
