i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
