I just saw a hot homeless man
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize