Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
