I've blown a few things in my day
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
