:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I supernannyed him into submission
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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