Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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