Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
