well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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