It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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