If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
