you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize