Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
