can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
