So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
