if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
