wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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