Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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