She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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