we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
organizing the empties. That sober.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
