im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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