if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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