Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
someone owes me an orgasm
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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