I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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