Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Four minutes until I can fart!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
