o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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