Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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