Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he fucked my hip out of place.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
