im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize