You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I cockslap morals
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
