we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
