Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
