Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
