imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
