yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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